Kids say the darndest things. This sentiment doesn’t change, no matter the legal status of the classic TV show’s host.

Thankfully it rings true in our house. I remember long nights with an infant crying in my arms. “If only he could talk,” I thought to myself. “Then he could communicate what’s bothering him without having to resort to hysterics.” Well, now he can talk, yet he still resorts to hysterics every once in awhile. They just take a different shape.

The good news is that some of the stuff he says can make me laugh harder than I’ve ever laughed before – and sometimes (especially when he’s acting like a toddler) I can really, really use that.

In honor of my son’s third birthday today, I wanted to highlight a few of the things that have come out of his mouth since he learned to talk.

• “I just want to look at daddy.” These words were uttered immediately after he figured out he could simply get out of bed. He was no longer confined, when we took one side of the crib off. So out he came, despite our repeated pleas to stay put. When we asked him why he continued to get up, this is the response we received. Not even mommy says this.
• “Daddy is your hair gray?” In his defense, he meant my beard. And in his defense, he’s not wrong. It doesn’t mean that daddy wanted to hear it. And to cap off this thought, he followed up with the fact that now my hair, and grandpa’s hair is gray. Thanks a lot kid.
• “When I’m a big boy, mommy can go in my tummy.” I don’t now how to begin with this….just no.
• “I just want to sing to the blinds.” This kid is looking for an audience. Any audience. The target of his affection doesn’t even need to be human. It’s cool.
• “Jingle Bells is a pirate song.” We have a cedar chest in our front room. It doubles as a pirate ship. That pirate ship is where pirate Sr. (me) and pirate Jr. (Jamie) ride the seas while singing that old time swashbuckling favorite, Jingle Bells. Sometimes it’s best just not to ask where the inspiration came from.
• “I can’t wait for my birthday, so I can be born.” He gets that his birthday is a day all about him. But he doesn’t quite understand the significance or meaning. No matter. Happy birthday anyway, Jamie. Keep saying those random, hilarious and adorable things. We can all use the laugh. And we love you.