The Logic Deficit

It is time to take a quick trip down memory lane.

Sometime around 2 a.m. on March 14, 2013 I learned something extremely important to my immediate future.

I learned that my little, adorable infant son could make a noise so piercingly loud that no human ear was meant to hear it – and that he seemingly enjoyed shrieking in this manner. All my years of attending rock and roll concerts couldn’t prepare me for this air raid siren.

My son had (and still has) the ability to melt your heart with adorableness. So how could someone with such an adorable disposition make a noise so unfit for human ears?

I received some sage advice to not wish myself past this phase—that every stage of fatherhood will pass way too incredibly fast—something that is very true. He needed a way to convince his parents of his hunger. He seemingly needed a way to convince anyone within a 5-mile radius of his hunger, but that’s another story.

Still, to wish myself past this phase didn’t seem right. It is not like when he stopped making that noise it would be followed with bouts of logic. Right?

Fast forward back to present. (22 months old)

Jamie’s vocabulary has increased immensely as of late. He has demonstrated his ability to continue hitting the high notes, but not nearly as often or to the degree that he did as an infant.

He now has the other ways to tell us that he is hungry. For instance my wife found him the other day hanging on the refrigerator door saying “This? This!”

He has also gone through and named every food that he likes for us in a hurry when he is hungry. “Bull Shish(Goldfish)! Eggs! Peezzaaa!” Sometimes this is all happening as early as an hour before he is supposed to eat.

But boy, was I right about the logic thing. With the vocabulary does not come an immediate understanding of concepts.

Mom and dad: “Jamie are you hungry?”

Jamie: “No. Yes. No?”

This type of answer is given for several types of questions when he gets flustered, and he is almost always meaning no. The questions “Are you ready to go to bed?” “Do you want to take a bath?” and “Did you poop?” have all received some variation of the same answer. And it is an answer that seemingly raises more questions.

For instance:

How am I supposed to interpret that?

Why can’t you just give me a straight answer?

Can I give you this answer later in life when you ask pressing questions about having a friend sleep over, or ask to use the car? 

Jamie is almost 2. When my wife and I start looking for preschools apparently we need to find one with a strong logic program. We’re in need. He is young. It will balance out. It has to balance out.

Oh, the things I never anticipated.