A post-Valentine’s Day story about falling in love with the wrong things.
Meg and I went out for our Valentine’s Day dinner last night, and we decided to try something a little different.
OK, a lot different.
When we sat down at the table, she put her phone and her purse down on an unused chair. Then looked at me. In a moment of insanity, I willingly handed her my phone as well.
What was I thinking? An entire meal without my trusted lifeline? What about those moments of down time? What about when I knew what I wanted off the menu, but she didn’t quite have it figured out yet? What about when she had to get up and go to the bathroom???
I’d sit in silence. Twiddling my thumbs. Alone with my thoughts, and a bad people-watching habit.
Here’s the thing.
I didn’t hate it.
I know, I expected to. I mean, what if people retweeted something of mine? What if somebody tagged me in a Facebook post? What if I got an important email?
All of those things would be there when I was done.
For the two hours we sat at that table, there wasn’t an electronic interaction that couldn’t wait. It defied my expectation.
As a business owner and journalist, I tend think of myself as more important than I actually am. The lesson learned is that I can step away from my lifeline for a couple hours and survive.
I might even enjoy it.
I won’t tell you it was easy. But to be honest, I’m a little embarrassed that something as simple as a two hour dinner with my wonderful Valentine (minus phone) is even worthy of a blog post.
My computer and my phone are vital instruments for running my business. On their own they’re necessary tools for good. Used to the extreme, they can be highly addictive forces that cause us to miss so many things that are right there in front of us.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what type of dad I want to be. Meg’s due in less than a month now.
The first answer to my question that comes to mind is that I want to be the present type of father. I don’t want to go through sporting events or concerts or other activities married to my smart phone.
I want to enjoy the family moments as they happen, and not be distracted worrying about what 1,000 loosely affiliated “friends” are doing in that same moment.
I definitely think it’s something that a lot of us could improve on. I saw a Facebook post recently where someone suggested placing all phones in the center of the table and the first one to budge pays the bill.
That’s a game I want to improve at.
Meg and I have begun instituting some computer-less evenings around the house just getting used to the idea.
On average I probably spend between 8 and 12 hours a day in front of some kind of screen. I want to grow my business and maintain some level of success, but I also want to decrease that number. How about you?
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I agree 100% and many of your thoughts resonated. I often get stuck in the ‘loop’ (facebook, twitter, instagram, foursquare…). Cheers to making a conscious break from the technology i.v.!
Thanks Michelle! It’s difficult to break out of the ‘loop’ that’s for sure.
Such a great reminder! You will be a great Dad!
Thanks Tammy!
Matt,
I don’t have the problem with the phone as much as I do with my laptop. I don’t bring it with me to restaurants, but it seems like I’m always on the computer when I’m home. Given that it’s portable, I could at least bring it to the family room when my husband is in there. It is hard to manage the time commitments of social media, but my real-life relationships are far more important.
Susan,
Yes, it’s definitely a balancing act. You’re absolutely right. Real life relationships are more important. Thanks for commenting!
Hi Matt,
It’s a weird experience for me to read something like this and realize there are people who don’t remember the world before cell phones, e-mail, etc. I wish I could beam you all back to 1975 for a week and see what would happen. 😉
I remember when phones had cords. I even remember rotary. It’s just amazing how quickly we get used to advances in technology.
Unplugged….sometimes we really need it in order to enhance our 5 senses. Plus, I think we need to unplug in order to be in tune with our heart and soul. Communication through the unspoken such as looking into Meg’s beautiful eyes, would have been missed. Taking time to savor the flavor of your meal without being compelled to check the tech, only further enhanced your enjoyable dinner. And, before you know it, you’ll have a delightful new addition who will pull rank on technology except for captured video or photos! We’re off to the mountains in a couple of days to soak in winter splendor. My goal is to leave my laptop behind and travel lighter.
Matt, thanks for the reminder on putting technology into perspective.
Here is to you and Meg!
Diane