There are things that repulse you, and then there are things that repulse you. Remember back in college when you had that roommate who used to be the rudest, loudest, nastiest eater? The one who used to make your eyes roll and your stomach turn? Now, he ranks second.

Except, the guy who ranks first is really kind of adorable. His antics don’t elicit the same response (most of the time). Bet you didn’t see that coming, right? He’s one of the rare breeds who can throw manners and social etiquette out the window, and still have women smile and flirt. He is…a toddler. He is your toddler.

Here are four gross things that no self-respecting grown up can get away with. Yet your toddler does them all the time and you don’t bat an eye. Somehow under these circumstances they seem acceptable.

Poop in a diaper – My wife is a nurse and bless her heart. The list of people who’s diaper I would change is short. Luckily for all involved, Jamie made the cut. Poop is nasty. Poop is vile. Poop is also all around, when you have an infant or a toddler. You get over the atrocious smell to simply complete the act of the diaper change. I am both dreading and anxiously awaiting potty training at the same time. It will be intense. There will be kicking and screaming and crying, I’m sure. And that’s just me. Even though I’m used to changing diapers, the completion of potty training will be glorious.

Wearing Tomato Sauce – It is always socially awkward to be “that guy” without a napkin at a meal. Maybe you are watching a stranger at a restaurant as he disregards that piece of food on his face. Maybe he just wiped spaghetti sauce on his pants. Who knows? It all goes out the window if you are 2. A 2-year-old can wipe spaghetti sauce through their hair, and their parents are immune to the mess. Selfishly I sort of wish it was a behavior that could carry into adulthood, but conversely it is not a behavior I’d find attractive in any other person. It’s a glorious double standard. Unless of course, you are 2.

Hugging cat butt – Jamie’s struggled with the logistics of giving our cat a hug. Whenever he gives anyone a hug, he leans in with his head. He doesn’t understand what the business end of a feline is. This can get icky fast. No one should linger down there. Somehow an adorable little boy who doesn’t know better gets a free pass…and a bath.

Finger painting with garage floor liquids – Toddlers are not born with the instinct to veer away from disgusting and mysterious liquids puddled on the garage floor. This can become problematic when the path into the house from the garage is not 100 percent clear. “Jamie NOOOO!” only works about 50 percent of the time. The other 50 percent of the time he asks “What’s this?” while simultaneously immersing his hands. But no mess can ever stay isolated on a 2-year-old’s hands. It ends up on his face, walls, clothes, and anything else in immediate proximity until addressed.

I will admit, as I write this, the ole’ poop in the tub comes to mind. I can’t include it on MY list because thankfully, it’s not something I’ve come across in my brief blip of parenting experience. I consider myself lucky on this one, but maybe it’s on your list.

I would not accept the behaviors listed above in any self-respecting adult. Heck, I might not accept them in other people’s toddlers. But life hands you a funny way of defaulting to problem-solving mode when your own toddler is involved.

Not all toddlers are created equal (I know plenty have soiled the tub). What else would you put on your list?

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