50 Ways to Piss Your Toddler Off

Toddlers are a fickle bunch. Their behaviors can depend on the day of the week, or the way the stars are aligned. Even the happiest-go-lucky toddler is perfectly capable of a full-blown temper tantrum at any moment.

The crafty, Pinterest-obsessed parent can turn the items on this list into toddler Bingo, and see how quick the results pile up. This list can also be turned into a drinking game if that is more your speed. Cheers!

Without further ado, here are 50 ways to piss your toddler off:

1. Eat something different than they do for dinner.
2. Let them see the cookie you are snacking on while they are still eating.
3. Don’t let them eat watermelon and cookies instead of chicken and broccoli.
4. Tell them it’s time to clean up.
5. Clean up their mess when they refuse.
6. Ask if they have to go pee.
7. Take them away from their toys.
8. Stop doing anything that they are asking to be done “Again?”
9. Make them eat two more bites of broccoli before they can play again.
10. Bring them to daycare.
11. Pick them up from daycare.
12. Insist that they cannot lick the dinner table.
13. Explain that they can throw a ball, but not their books.
14. Read to them.
15. Don’t read to them.
16. Bring the snack they said they wanted.
17. Tell them chicken is what’s for dinner.
18. Ask them to put that permanent marker down.
19. Ask them to stop stabbing the table with a butter knife.
20. Use candy to explain taxes.
21. Not cave in to their temper tantrum.
22. Cave in to their temper tantrum.
23. Insist they brush their teeth.
24. Insist they wash their hands.
25. Tell them it is time for a bath.
26. Tell them bath time is over.
27. Insist ice cream is not a breakfast food.
28. Insist Cheerios are not a dinner food.
29. Scold them for kissing the dog on the mouth.
30. Insist they find a toilet when they tell you they have to pee.
31. Insist on changing their underwear when they couldn’t find the toilet.
32. Tell them they cannot eat the dog’s food.
33. Say hello.
34. Say goodbye.
35. Try to make them laugh.
36. Tell them not to lick their milk off the floor, even if that is what the cat is doing.
37. Teach them manners.
38. Say no.
39. Run errands with them.
40. Don’t let them have something.
41. Wake them up.
42. Do not let them wear the shirt they are asking for.
43. Make them drink their milk.
44. Don’t let them watch a movie.
45. Tell them it’s too cold to go outside.
46. Don’t let them try your coffee.
47. Then let them try your coffee when they insist.
48. Tell them they are going home.
49. Take them from what they were doing.
50. When they scream for mom, tell them she is never coming back.

 

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