What Is Good Parenting?

I’m only two years into this whole parenting thing and some days it feels like there are more questions than answers. I feel like Meg and I are making it up as we go along, and I’m slowly coming to terms with that.

Parenting may be the most difficult things somebody can do in life without a manual. Good parenting is a concept that is totally subjective, and much more of an art than it is a science. It can also be totally contingent on the situation.

What worked for someone else may be a load of B.S. for you. A lot of well-intentioned people will offer their parenting advice, sometimes unsolicited. In two years, I’ve learned to take what applies and throw the rest out the window.

At first I had an anxiety and edge that came with every major decision that we faced. There are definitely times that I still feel that way, but it no longer consumes my entire existence.

Here’s some parenting questions I’ve asked myself from time to time: 

• Am I being too lenient?
• Am I being too strict?
• Am I being too impatient?
• He’s crying because I took his toy away. Should I give it back?
• Should I handle things differently or the same next time?
• Do I give my son too much TV time?
• Should I let him watch Frozen AGAIN?
• Should I let him play games on my phone, or is he too young?
• Does he really have to eat his vegetables?

I know I missed about a million parenting questions that pop up from a daily to a weekly basis here, that are just as relevant to good parenting.

There are times when the answer to these types of questions is “yes,” and there are times when it’s “no.” Jamie’s our only child at least for now, and I don’t want to spoil him. He needs to understand the word “no,” and that there will be many, many moments in childhood that he won’t get what he wants. On the flip side, he’s also 2, so there’s no need for the hyper disciplinarian to surface.

Right now, his job is to stay inquisitive, play and be happy. For the most part, he does exceptionally well with all of these things. But as anyone who’s spent any time around a toddler knows, they’re susceptible to drastic mood changes and temper tantrums.

If anybody needs me, I’ll be selectively grabbing the advice that fits from the “parenting experts,” and throwing what I don’t need out the window. Good parenting can just as easily be accomplished by making it up as you go along.