Capturing the True Moment: Why I'm Writing About Parenting

Tonight during dinner I squared off against my son in a funny faces contest. If I’m being truly honest, I probably didn’t win, either. As evidenced by the picture at the bottom of this post, the little guy is expressive. Actor is just one of the potential careers in his future.

These are the great moments of raising a toddler. They are the scenes that non-parents picture, when they think of the gloriousness of parenthood. And I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

But to say that insane dosage of adorableness is evidenced in every moment of every day of being a parent would be an outright lie. It’s not rainbows and unicorns 24/7. Two days ago my son threw a temper tantrum that effectively lasted two hours. He’s persistent and stubborn, especially when he doesn’t get his way.

Parenting is not always smooth. Those moments of insane adorableness are bookended by the puzzlement the comes with ketchup caked on the back of your neck, or the pull-your-hair-out frustrations of dealing with a temper tantrum.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I write about being a parent, and all it entails. There are ramifications both long and short term. I’m reflecting on the purpose of my parenting blog, because in all honesty it’s been a bit of a rough week throughout the blogosphere.

I watched a friend and fellow dad blogger privatize his blog and remove his social media channels after ruthless Internet bullies threatened the safety of his family – all because of his opinions on a social issue. I read another piece by a dad who removed blog posts that were too revealing about his growing children. Both situations have me thinking.

And the best way I have to explain why I want to write about parenting is through an analogy. When I go back and look at pictures, the ones with Jamie smiling are nice, but they don’t always tell the whole story. For example, my favorite picture from last Christmas is Jamie giving a whole body frown and on the verge of tears as he sits on Santa’s lap. It’s my favorite picture because it’s genuine. It’s the way he really felt in the moment.

That snapshot of a genuine moment is what I hope my blog to be. The “genuine” component often comes in a dose of adorable, but it includes tantrums, too. I want an honest look back at what Jamie and his parents were experiencing at any given moment, because there is truth in that. (At some point I’ll have to consider his privacy more, but we’re not there yet.)

For example, I’ve been pretty honest about the high notes my kid could hit crying. Years of attending rock concerts and standing right next to the speakers couldn’t prepare me for the China shattering levels of his cry.

Just like Jamie eating dinner, parenting is messy. There isn’t always a right or wrong answer. There’s a problem, and an attempted resolution. When things don’t work the way they were expected, you adjust course and move on. But this is real life, and this is what parenting a toddler looks like. There are a lot of parents out there who can relate, because there are a lot of universal truths that come with raising a toddler. We’re in it together.

I don’t want to look back at the work that I did years from now and find a bunch of pictures of smiles that don’t necessarily reflect what my son or his family felt at the moment. I want to find the line between protecting everyone’s privacy and capturing the true honesty, because that is what will provide value down the road.

And look at those faces.