When it comes to bedtime, or any other ritual, a 2-year-old is slave to routine. Almost anything can be fun when it comes to a little bit of anticipation. It turns the most mundane tasks into a game.
It helps that we have a 2-year-old who is a walking giggle factory. Sometimes we try to play it up, making him laugh at any turn possible. This has led to a few unique rituals, such as the family hug, right before bedtime. I’ll go in for the element of surprise, blindsiding Jamie as he thinks he’s receiving a routine goodnight hug from his mother. Now he asks for them nearly every night.
One night, probably horsing around, we started flying Jamie into his bed like an airplane, versus simply placing him in bed. It is another ritual that wins us smiles and giggles, instead of dread as we place him in bed, and leave the room. He asks for that nearly every night as well.
From these rituals to language, a toddler’s whole world is built on repetition. Before we walk out of his room, we utter the phrase: “Mommy and daddy love you.”
Instead of “I love you too,” he repeats back exactly what we say:
“Mommy and daddy love you.”
He doesn’t understand the shift in meaning. He does the same thing when we ask him how he is doing. The conversation usually goes something like this:
Dad: “How are you doing?”
Jamie: “How are you doing?”
Dad: “When someone says ‘How are you doing?’ you can say ‘Good,’ OK?
Jamie: “OK.”
Dad: “How are you doing?”
Jamie: “How are you doing?”
So, some things still need a little bit of work. Eventually we’ll break off from repetition to original responses, or concepts. But not yet.
Sometimes I wonder why both his mother and I go in nightly to put him to bed. It’s the end of the day, so no 2-year-old is consistently in a tolerable frame of mind. There can easily be crying, tantruming, or general resistance to anything his parents are trying to accomplish. With a million things going on around the house, double-teaming the bedtime routine doesn’t feel efficient, and it’s easy to want a break.
I don’t want to create an unrealistic image of what parenting is actually like. Believe me, at all other parts of the day, when one of us needs a break, we take it. It can get loud, it can get obnoxious, and it can get overwhelming. We walk away (when it’s feasible), and we come back (slightly) recharged. But for whatever reason, we both take part in that bedtime ritual, no matter how drained we are. I think we both want to say goodnight, for the evening’s closure, but it’s more than that.
Part of being a parent is keeping the future in mind. How many more nights do we have flying Jamie into bed like an airplane? How many more nights do we have reading him books, or being in his room at bedtime at all? It seems like these things could go on forever, but he already reached 2 in the blink of an eye.
Our purpose, and the level of need will continue to shift. Eventually he’ll want as little to do with us as possible, but not yet. Right now, when he laughs uncontrollably, he makes us laugh. When he tells us mommy and daddy love us, it makes a long day a little more manageable.
His life will fill up with things like homework, friends and other interests and passions. But right now things are innocent and simple, and it is completely refreshing.
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