Nothing makes you feel like you are living in a fishbowl quite like parenting. When it comes to a small child, opinions are like that certain piece of human anatomy – everyone’s got one (including the childless).
It takes practice and a grace period before you realize that what the people watching your parenting from afar think, doesn’t really matter. For the most part, I’ve learned to discount the opinions of other people, both real and projected, unless said opinions also come with an offer to babysit. I’m not perfect at this, but I can certainly recognize an opinion that shouldn’t matter.
This was a tough lesson living in a one-bedroom apartment with thin walls for the first few weeks of Jamie’s life, while we continued to look for a home. Jamie joined this world with something to say. He came out with a cry so fierce that once I gained my hearing back, I wondered what people on other floors of the hospital must have thought of this angry newborn infant. That shrill cry raged on for months, until he had other ways to tell us he needed something.
In an environment where a normal room-volume conversation could be faintly overheard through apartment walls, I wondered how far an ear-piercing cry traveled. What the neighbors could hear became a legitimate concern. A baby crying that fiercely out in public is also a great way to attract attention.
As Jamie grows, the reasons for the fishbowl vary. I don’t really care as much anymore about what people think, but a 2-year-old being 2 is a quick way to garner attention while in public. The nonsensical things he says and does sometimes need to be met with nonsensical responses.
“Never touch your shoe to your face.”
“Don’t wipe your spaghetti in your hair.”
“Don’t lick your toys.”
“Don’t hug the dog’s butt.”
When these kinds of responses come in public, they can land you back in the parenting fishbowl.
Sometimes it’s his awkward words or actions that put us there. When he asks his mother if the woman sharing the aisle at the grocery store is a dinosaur, you’re in that parenting fishbowl. When he feels the need to touch every item placed below the three foot level in the checkout lane, you’re in the fishbowl. When he emphatically tells the waitress at the crowded restaurant “MORE FOOODDD PLLLEEEAAASSSSEEE!!!!” you guessed it, back in the fishbowl. Public places equals eyes on the parents. But being 2 is being 2.
Dealing with public temper tantrums, become a quick trip to the parenting fishbowl.
The bottom line is we live in an environment where nearly everyone has an opinion about nearly everything – especially when a child is involved. The opinions that matter come in only a tiny subset.
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