For a kid with a healthy appetite, meals have been a challenge. When Jamie doesn’t like something, he cannot simply work around it. It needs to vacate his plate (and his view) immediately. When he actually intends to eat something, it is usually only a small portion that ends up in his mouth. The rest is spread in various locations. Maybe next meal I’ll keep a shot chart similar to a basketball game to keep track of where the food lands. Until then, this handy infographic can give you an idea of some of the surfaces involved, and what a typical cleanup might look like. There is laundry to do. There are baths. There is a kitchen table to clean. Ah, the joy of toddler meals.   If you like what you read, please vote for me by clicking the Top Daddy Blog Link below or sharing on social media....

The well-intentioned advice of family or friends may not cover EVERYTHING about being the parent of a young child. Heck some of the parenting books may not cover all of it. Here are seven things they don’t tell you before you enter the realm of parenthood: There is such thing as projectile poop – They warn you and they warn you about what a little boy is capable of. You pull that diaper and could easily be staring into a fountain with that sudden rush of air. What they don’t tell you is that when you lift those legs you need to be careful. The walls may need to be cleaned shortly after. There is such a thing as an ugly baby – Mine was freaking adorable, and I firmly believe that. But every parent will surely tell you the same thing. Take an extra look at the next few infants you see. They are not all created equal. Every time you leave the house you are moving – The sheer volume of stuff required to make a simple trip to run errands with an infant is astounding. When you leave your child with someone for a few hours it may require five trips to the car. As they start to become toddlers less and less will be needed to make the trip. Cleaning just became impossible – When they are infants it is because of the clutter bomb that just exploded and took over your stuff. When they are toddlers the clutter bomb keeps expanding. The moment you decide you are sick of it and want to clean, they are right behind you to grabbing every book and toy, knocking them to the floor. Cleaning with a toddler present is one of life’s greatest challenges. Toddler brains thrive on repetition – It’s a good thing for development. That’s how they learn things. My 2-year-old son just read his parents one of his books, cover to cover, the other night before bed. He did this on sheer memory. However when you show them a YouTube video or play them Let it Go for the MILLIONTH time and the first thing they say is “Again?” I promise it will get old. You’re a parent, but you are also human. The cleanup involved with meals is astounding – The most difficult lesson for a toddler to learn is that food cannot be digested through osmosis, but it’s not for lack of trying. The messier the food the more creative places your toddler will put it. Laundry will need to be done. Your home will need to be cleaned. Baths will need to be taken. It all makes for a fun Friday...

Whoever invented the phrase “pitter patter of little feet” never met my son. He’s more of the “bull in a china shop” persuasion. As I’m writing this post Jamie is running around upstairs, fresh off the vacation to Door County, Wisconsin we just returned home from. Each passing step sounds more like a thunderous “THUMP!” from the room underneath. In addition to the loud feet my son is talking more and more. While on vacation he developed several new favorite phrases… When we asked him if he was tired, his response was “No, I’m a big boy.” This is probably because he slept in a toddler bed while we were away from home. “I want to go on ‘cation,” and “I want to go on a ‘venture,” were Jamie-speak for “Get me out of this house!” There was one other phrase he picked up that remains of grave concern. He didn’t repeat a bad word. He didn’t even give any attitude. No. Instead he uttered a phrase that leaves me outnumbered in the ranks of my own family. Anytime the car stopped the whole vacation he uttered… “I WANNA GO IN THE STORE!!!!!!” I have no idea where he picked this up. It certainly wasn’t something I’ve ever been on record as saying, especially that emphatically. So I let it go the first few times, hoping it would go away. In fact, the moment captured in the accompanying picture was outside a grocery store while Meg shopped. The phrase pestered on. It didn’t matter where we were or the purpose for the stop. He wanted in. Probably because of the long car ride, but I didn’t think shopping ranked so high on a 2-year-old’s priority list. There are breakables in any store up there because of the tourism industry. I finally brought Jamie in with me to grab a coffee one morning. It was the type of store that required walking past wind chimes, pottery and other knick-knacks to purchase my black coffee. I let go of one hand for a split second, and needed to unwrap Jamie’s 2-year-old fingers from around one of the breakable wind chimes. This of course prompted me to issue the stern “Don’t touch anything!” warning, instantly making me feel old. With this new development, I’m now looking at the layout of retail stores in a whole new way. For example, we walked into another gift shop and I immediately noticed pottery bowls placed among children’s toys at about the 2-foot level. I’m wondering what childless person came out with the plan for that layout? A toddler’s hands need to touch everything along any stretch that they walk. Maybe his mother will take Jamie...

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there! In honor of the occasion, below is a list of ways that becoming a dad changed me. Feel free to comment and let me know how being a dad has changed you. The silence of others is no longer an opportunity for rest or relaxation. It is definitive sign that someone is plotting. I don’t work in the medical industry, yet I have a strong vested interest in someone else’s bowel movements. Bathroom privacy is a foreign concept. Others talk about it, but I’m convinced it’s a thing of fiction. Some days, the balance of my television viewing is heavily tilted towards the animated. I’ll even accidently leave a cartoon on after Jamie goes to bed, if the television was just on for background noise. I’ll frequently be offered the end of someone else’s meal…No wait, that started happening while dating. I’ve learned that little people can give some of the biggest hugs. On a related note… I’ve never been so on guard about having my feet stepped on, or being inadvertently punched where it counts in my life. There might be days where Let it Go from Frozen, and Hot Dog from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse are the only songs I hear. If your day starts with “Wuuuuv you daddy!” right before you leave the house, there’s pretty much no way it can go bad. If you like what you read, please vote for me by clicking the Top Daddy Blog Link below or sharing on social media....

My food. My toy. My milk. My slide. My crayon. These are all phrases we’ve heard from Jamie over the last few weeks. Mine. Mine. Mine. I knew this is a phase toddlers go through, and I was somewhat prepared for it. So when he starts labeling everything as his, I’ll randomly ask if he’s willing to share. Sometimes he’ll hand it over. Sometimes I’ll get a big tantrummy “NOOOOO!!!!” There is one thing that caught me somewhat off guard in his declaring possession of everything he lays eyes on – this habit goes past physical objects, but also applies to experiences and people. As I left for work the other day, I was later informed that Jamie yelled at the cat: “CAT NOOOO!!! THAT’S MY BYE BYE!!!!” To clarify, I did not say goodbye to the cat. But it shouldn’t matter if I did. When I pick him up from daycare, I do not need to ring the doorbell. If my son is not presently looking out the window, I simply need to knock. He’ll stand up, running to the door. “MY DADDY!! MY DADDY!!” I know I need to continue encouraging the idea of sharing. I know I need to find ways to break him of labeling everything in the world as his. But there are occurrences that melt your heart and make you laugh and smile. Possession is a concept tough to grasp for a toddler. Like time, it’s something that can leave them staring blankly if you try to explain. Being around a toddler gives me some strange perspective on what it must have been like to be an early American settler. “IT’S MINE! IT’S MINE! IT’S MINE!” Hearing this refrain multiple times a day has a strange way of making me feel randomly territorial. Next time he says “MY HOUSE!!” maybe I’ll remind him that he could make a mortgage payment. Yes. If he wants more stuff, he’ll need to start pulling his weight.     If you like what you read, please vote for me by clicking the Top Daddy Blog Link below or sharing on social media....

Kids, no matter the age, can teach us a lot about life. Being the parent of a toddler can teach us more than we can imagine. Here are 14 life truths I never would have understood without my 2-year-old, Jamie: 1) Years of standing next to amplifiers at rock and roll concerts could not prepare me for the decibel level on a full-blown temper tantrum. 2) Let it Go is pretty much audio crack. Once a 2-year-old hears a song they like, they will be upset when you determine the millionth time listening is enough. Be prepared to hear the words “More?” and “Again?” 3) The answer to whether they want another book read at bedtime is always yes. The answer to whether they want to go to bed is always no. 4) It is possible to count every blade of grass, pick up every stick and point out every bird on a four-block walk. 5) What tasted good for dinner last week can easily become a point of contention for dinner this week. 6) A channel where a cartoon character reads the morning news might just be the perfect generational compromise. 7) Everything is “mine.” Nothing is yours. Not even if you make the mortgage or car payments. My house, my car, my slide, my hug, my food. 8) When you incorrectly enter the password to your iPhone enough times, it locks you out for three minutes. 9) Kids can open apps on your phone or turn the television on and off, but cannot find their mouth while eating spaghetti. 10) The most interesting toy a toddler owns is the one they are being asked to share – even if it hasn’t been played with in the previous six months. 11) The mood that they are in directly correlates with how much food is on their face during mealtimes. 12) The harder it is to do something (like lift them over your head) the more they will want it done. 13) Just because a toddler knows how to talk doesn’t mean there is any logic to what he or she is saying. 14) The one place that’s not toddler-proofed is the first place they will go. They have radar for it. If you like what you read, please vote for me by clicking the Top Daddy Blog Link below or sharing on social media....

On a recent weekend morning we decided to pack Jamie into the car and take him to a museum. Before we left we checked the website, confirmed it was open, and set out to go. “Jamie do you want to go to a museum?” “MOOOSEEEEUMMMM!!!” That’s an affirmative. When we pulled up there wasn’t a car in the vicinity. Despite the message to the opposite on their website, they were closed. The area was vacant. No museum for Jamie. Now, we’ve never taken him to one, and to my knowledge, he doesn’t know what a museum is. But as we drove away looking for something else, he pointed at the building and yelled. “NOOOOOOOOO!!!! MOOOOOSEEEEEEUUMMMMMMMM!!!” Telling him that we’ll do the museum another day is not an acceptable answer because he wants to go to the museum right now. There is no concept of time. The smart play is to ask him if he wants to go for a car ride, and conveniently leave out the destination or purpose. That way he is aware of the next immediate activity, and that is it. Afterwards, in a few minutes, when your mother gets home…these are concepts not understood just yet. This anxiety over time impacts our day-to-day activities at home as well. Meg can’t go to the bathroom without Jamie pounding on the door. If I pull him away from the door, he’ll sob and scream for mommy. I’ve been informed that telling him “You cried too much. Mommy isn’t coming back,” is not an appropriate response. Without that one in my arsenal I wait, and tell him that she’ll be back in a few minutes – which does nothing to quell the situation. Jamie can’t tell the difference between leaving for a full day of work and a quick trip to the deep freezer in the garage, so in the meantime both are equally concerning for him. There is an upside to this. He’s thrilled to see either parent return whether we’ve been gone for three hours or 30 seconds. Every entrance is treated like we’ve been missing for a week. There are smiles, hugs and “Daddy, daddy, daddy!!” Now if I can get him to continue with this kind of reception until he is 18, it will all work out. If you like what you read, please vote for me by clicking the Top Daddy Blog Link below or sharing on social media....