Whoever invented the phrase “pitter patter of little feet” never met my son. He’s more of the “bull in a china shop” persuasion.

As I’m writing this post Jamie is running around upstairs, fresh off the vacation to Door County, Wisconsin we just returned home from. Each passing step sounds more like a thunderous “THUMP!” from the room underneath.

In addition to the loud feet my son is talking more and more. While on vacation he developed several new favorite phrases…

When we asked him if he was tired, his response was “No, I’m a big boy.” This is probably because he slept in a toddler bed while we were away from home.

“I want to go on ‘cation,” and “I want to go on a ‘venture,” were Jamie-speak for “Get me out of this house!”

There was one other phrase he picked up that remains of grave concern.

He didn’t repeat a bad word. He didn’t even give any attitude. No. Instead he uttered a phrase that leaves me outnumbered in the ranks of my own family. Anytime the car stopped the whole vacation he uttered… “I WANNA GO IN THE STORE!!!!!!”

I have no idea where he picked this up. It certainly wasn’t something I’ve ever been on record as saying, especially that emphatically. So I let it go the first few times, hoping it would go away. In fact, the moment captured in the accompanying picture was outside a grocery store while Meg shopped.

The phrase pestered on.

It didn’t matter where we were or the purpose for the stop. He wanted in. Probably because of the long car ride, but I didn’t think shopping ranked so high on a 2-year-old’s priority list.

There are breakables in any store up there because of the tourism industry. I finally brought Jamie in with me to grab a coffee one morning. It was the type of store that required walking past wind chimes, pottery and other knick-knacks to purchase my black coffee. I let go of one hand for a split second, and needed to unwrap Jamie’s 2-year-old fingers from around one of the breakable wind chimes.

This of course prompted me to issue the stern “Don’t touch anything!” warning, instantly making me feel old.

With this new development, I’m now looking at the layout of retail stores in a whole new way. For example, we walked into another gift shop and I immediately noticed pottery bowls placed among children’s toys at about the 2-foot level. I’m wondering what childless person came out with the plan for that layout? A toddler’s hands need to touch everything along any stretch that they walk.

Maybe his mother will take Jamie clothes shopping, or along on one of her upcoming shopping excursions. I’m hoping that might change his opinions of wanting to go in the store. Or maybe the next retail option he sees will be right next to a park with swings, or offer some other version of entertainment.

As a father, it is now my mission to instill a healthy shop phobia. I need someone to pass the time with when a day takes a turn for the retail.

 

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