Talking Time With a 2-Year-Old

On a recent weekend morning we decided to pack Jamie into the car and take him to a museum.

Before we left we checked the website, confirmed it was open, and set out to go.

“Jamie do you want to go to a museum?”

“MOOOSEEEEUMMMM!!!”

That’s an affirmative.

When we pulled up there wasn’t a car in the vicinity. Despite the message to the opposite on their website, they were closed. The area was vacant.

No museum for Jamie. Now, we’ve never taken him to one, and to my knowledge, he doesn’t know what a museum is. But as we drove away looking for something else, he pointed at the building and yelled.

“NOOOOOOOOO!!!! MOOOOOSEEEEEEUUMMMMMMMM!!!”

Telling him that we’ll do the museum another day is not an acceptable answer because he wants to go to the museum right now.

There is no concept of time.

The smart play is to ask him if he wants to go for a car ride, and conveniently leave out the destination or purpose. That way he is aware of the next immediate activity, and that is it.

Afterwards, in a few minutes, when your mother gets home…these are concepts not understood just yet.

This anxiety over time impacts our day-to-day activities at home as well.

Meg can’t go to the bathroom without Jamie pounding on the door. If I pull him away from the door, he’ll sob and scream for mommy. I’ve been informed that telling him “You cried too much. Mommy isn’t coming back,” is not an appropriate response. Without that one in my arsenal I wait, and tell him that she’ll be back in a few minutes – which does nothing to quell the situation.

Jamie can’t tell the difference between leaving for a full day of work and a quick trip to the deep freezer in the garage, so in the meantime both are equally concerning for him.

There is an upside to this. He’s thrilled to see either parent return whether we’ve been gone for three hours or 30 seconds. Every entrance is treated like we’ve been missing for a week. There are smiles, hugs and “Daddy, daddy, daddy!!”

Now if I can get him to continue with this kind of reception until he is 18, it will all work out.

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