When you look at your own 2-year-old it is easy to get caught up in how big he or she is. They used to be a tiny infant, and they became a tiny person seemingly overnight. But that doesn’t mean he or she is a logical being ready to understand commands or complete complicated word problems.
Who am I kidding? I can’t complete complicated word problems…
Anyway…in the course of a day, any parent of a toddler utilizes a vocabulary that makes them feel better, but there is zero chance the kid will understand. I’m not talking about Shakespearean English, Harvard English, or anything else highly academic. I’m talking about simple words in a basic vocabulary that may as well be highly academic. Heck, they may as well be in a foreign language because the best you’re going to get is a blank stare when you use them.
Here is my incomplete list of words and phrases rendered completely and utterly useless when directed at a 2-year-old, and why:
- No – If they want to they want to. “No” isn’t going to stop anybody.
- Wait – Wait for what? Not going to happen. It’s about the “now.”
- Maybe – Yes or no. That’s really all they want to know.
- Have some patience – This is even more useless than telling them to wait.
- Slow down – They only know one speed.
- Tomorrow – The only time-related concept they understand is “now.”
- Later – Now or never.
- Be careful – Live dangerously. Take chances.
- Go to sleep – Sleep is for the weak.
- Eat your broccoli – It’s green.
- Don’t do that – This phrase only peeks the curiosity.
You know they are going to do it anyway, they are going to move ahead when you tell them to wait, and telling them to slow down is like making them change the oil on your car –it ain’t going to happen.
They’ll be able to figure out how to watch a YouTube video on changing the car oil, but in what seems like a bonding moment they won’t feel the least bit confident in how to change it, either.
What utterly useless words or phrases are uttered in your house? You’ll know them when you hear them because of how ridiculous they sound coming out of your mouth.
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