‘Twas Two Months Before Christmas

The second those halloween decorations come down, I am in the Christmas spirit. I tell my wife all the time that I wish I could buy 4th Of July sparklers and Christmas garland at the same time. It’s only appropriate. Ok, you caught me. I don’t really tell her that.

The red cups are out at Starbucks and the retailers are in high gear. We’re glossing over Thanksgiving when we prepare this early, and more toddlers probably associate the day with Santa Claus than Jesus.

I wish more stores were doing what REI is doing on Black Friday – staying home. I’m not even sure what they sell there, but I want some. Anyway, here’s a post halloween Christmas poem for everyone. Enjoy:


‘Twas Two Months Before Christmas

‘Twas two months before Christmas

and all thru the store,

shoppers were bustling,

and searching for more.

All the shelving was stocked

with ornaments and wreaths,

stressed holiday shoppers

searched for fake plastic trees.

Then what to my

wondering thoughts should come clear?

The pressure of Christmas

replaced Halloween fear.

I wandered the aisles,

they were disheveled and strewn,

and wished I had Xanax

since the day would be here so soon.

The Grim Reaper Costume

was removed from the shelf,

when in its place

was a decorative elf.

The big event

is still months away,

but our nation’s economy

thrives off this day.

To the front lanes we bounded

with excitement and glee,

shopping carts filled

from our capitalist spree.

The man in the red suit

Could keep the children pleased,

with everything imagined

soon under our tree.

While we sat waiting

for Santa sleigh-bound,

under the weight of his bag,

he soon hit the ground.

They offered him pain meds,

 clearly in plight.

Merry Christmas to all

and to all a good night!

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